Kowai, kowai...

I'm so scared of being alone,
Don't want to face it on my own.
Never pictured it to be this way,
Never pictured it to be any way.
I'm stuck. Which way to look?
One way, U-turn, the other way, Stop.
Stop. I don't want to stop.
I never want to stop.
Never stop, stop. Stop.
I want to keep going when the going gets rough,
But how rough can the going get before I will stop?
When inside my mind cries "kowai, kowai"
And because of that, I never want to know.
Ever, ever...

I never want to know when everything has to stop.

I don't wanna gain the whole world, and loose my soul

Man I wanna tell you all something, Man.
Man I'm not gonna let these material thing's, get in my way, you all.
I'm trying to get somewhere.
I'm trying to get somewhere,
Thats real and pure and true and eternal.

Father God, I am clay in your hands,
Help me to stay that way through all life's demands,
'Cause they chip and they nag and they pull at me,
And every little thing I make up my mind to be,
Like I'm gonna be a daddy whose in the mix,
And I'm gonna be a husband who stays legit,
And I pray that I'm an artist who rises above,
The road that is wide and filled with self love,
Everything that I see draws me,
Though it's only in You that I can truly see that its a feast for the eyes- a low blow to purpose.
And I'm a little kid at a three ring circus.

I don't want to gain the whole world, and lose my soul,
Don't wanna walk away, let me hear the people say.
I don't want to gain the whole world, and lose my soul,
Don't wanna walk away, let me hear the people say.

The paparazzi flashes, and that they think that it's you,
But they don't know that who you are is not what you do,
True, we get it twisted when we peak at the charts,
Yo before we part from the start,
Where's your heart?
You a pimp, hustler?
Tell me what's your title,
America has no more stars, now we call them idols,
You sit idle, While we teach prosperity,
The first thing to prosper should be inside of me.
We're free...
Not because of 22's on the range,
But Christ came in range, we said yes now we changed,
Not the same, even though I made a fall,
Since I got that call, no more Saul, now I'm Paul.
(YEP!)

I don't want to gain the whole world, and lose my soul,
Don't wanna walk away, let me hear the people say.
I don't want to gain the whole world, and lose my soul,
Don't wanna walk away, let me hear the people say.
Don't wanna walk away,
Don't wanna walk away

How do I sense the tide that's rising?
De-sensitizing me from living in light of eternity,
How do I sense the tide that's rising?
It's hypnotizing me from living in light of eternity,
How do I sense the tide that's rising?
De-sensitizing me from living in light of eternity.

(Lord what we gonna do,We're relying on you,
all eyes are on you Lord,
all eyes are on you, all eyes are on you Jesus.)

I don't want to gain the whole world, and lose my soul,
Don't wanna walk away, let me hear the people say.
(Don't let me lose my soul, my soul.)
I don't want to gain the whole world, and lose my soul,
(This is my honesty, Father, won't you cover me.)
I don't want to gain the whole world, and lose my soul,
(Don't wanna walk away, and all those people say)
I don't want to gain the whole world, and lose my soul,
(Don't wanna lose, I don't wanna lose my soul.)

Lord forgive us when we get consumed by the things of this world,
That fight for our love, and our passion,
As our eyes are open wide and on you.
Grant us the privilege of your world view,
And may your kingdom be, what wakes us up, and lays us down.

(Hallelujah, Don't wanna lose our soul,
No, Don't wanna lose my soul.)

Hey excuse me,
I'm looking for the after party,
Toby,
Ha ha, yeah, last door on the left, you'll hear it.
Thanks,
No problem.

Don't let me lose my soul, I never wanna walk away,
I don't wanna lose my soul,
No, no, no.
Don't let me, don't let me, lose my soul,
I don't wanna walk away,
Don't let me walk away,
Na na na na no,
Don't let me lose, my soul,
I'm never gonna walk away.

She

“ You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect - you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.

- Bob Marley

God of This City

You're the God of this City
You're the King of these people
You're the Lord of this nation
You are

You're the Light in this darkness
You're the Hope to the hopeless
You're the Peace to the restless
You are

There is no one like our God
There is no one like our God

For greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this City
Greater thing have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this City

For greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this City
Greater thing have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this City


"No one is holy like the Lord!
There is no one besides you;
there is no Rock like our God."

1 Samuel 2:2


<3

Unbelonging, I feel

Feels like time has passed much too fast - a million and one things to do, a million and two places I want to go to, a million and more people I want to see, and there will never be enough time in the world to complete everything. If growing up wasn't permitted, maybe I'd be able to do the things I've wanted to do for so long. But with growing up, comes other things I want to do, come new people I will want to hang out with, comes other places I will want to go to. And with those new places, a feeling of unbelonging will settle in. Too many places to go, too many homes I will live in, and there will never be a home where I truly belong to because of this feeling of unbelonging. I'll belong to wherever I am currently living. I will call the box which most currently houses my materials, my home. I'm going home, I say. But yet it doesn't feel like home and I don't want to leave my birth country because everyone is here and the people I love are my home. Very unsettling, very. I really hate this feeling of unbelonging. I want to be at home.

Forgive me, I'm trying to find my calling

So I dropped a big candle onto a photo frame today and the glass broke. Is that bad luck? lol. Not like I really believe in that stuff.

I had a thought today I wanted to write down;

I don't pray so that I can believe in God,
I believe in God so that I can pray.

See, one can believe there is a God, and not obey and follow Him. Satan believes in God, but goes against him. What's the use with believing in God, but not obeying him? You can know He exists, but if you do not follow you then you are not His child. Rather, I believe in God, so that I can pray for forgiveness that I know He will give unto me because of his unconditional love and grace, that all of our sin will be washed away.

Amazing Grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost
But now I'm found
Was blind but now I see

Picking up broken pieces

Getting back on my feet
Moving on on on, forward
Standing up a little taller than yesterday
Because all that happened yesterday, all seems so far far away...

lol. Why am I so poetic today? No reason. So! These past two weeks have been extremely challenging. I was pushed to limits and into situations that I had never been in before, and I don't think I ever want to be in again. I dunno. Very challenging, but I guess it all happens for good reasons. I guess, I'm learning lessons that I should of learned earlier. For example - lessons on not procrastinating on projects, and to not take it for granted that something's gonna happen when it might not. Don't let emotions get the best of me when reason and logic are important too, and that I should just let my feelings go when they need to get out. That might sound all oh so emotional and *wow*ish but it really isn't. Just life lessons that need to be learned over and over again, because we all constantly need to be reminded, when we get just a little lazy over another project, when we get tired and frustrated because things aren't going the way we want it to. Life lessons. Valuable lessons.

Yikes, off to bed for me.